Adult ADD/ADHD causes more significant impairment than difficulty with mental focus. ADD impairs executive functions including planning, strategizing, impulse control, emotional regulation, and organizational skills.
Time management includes the utilization of all of these skills and thus is often impaired in people with Adult ADD. Patients often miss deadlines, procrastinate, and are often chronically late to appointments and events. This obviously can take a toll on a career, relationships, and family.
Thus, in this newsletter, I am going to provide five tips you can use to help people with Adult ADD who are chronically late.
ADHD Tip # 1 – MULTIPLY TIME ESTIMATES BY THREE
ADD often causes people to underestimate the time required for an activity or travel from point to point. When I mention this issue to people with Adult ADD, they often smile because it has been an issue their entire lives. Thus, I recommend multiplying their time estimates by three to build in a buffer against lateness.
ADHD Tip # 2 – AVOID “JUST IN TIME” THINKING
Most people hate to wait, but people with Adult ADD find it even more intolerable. Thus, they often plan on arriving just in time to avoid waiting. I help people with Adult ADD recognize this tendency and to adopt a firm policy of arriving early. In order to reinforce this behavior, I encourage them to use the extra time to do something they enjoy such as reading a book, playing a video game, or catching up on emails.
ADHD Tip #3 – MAKE IT A HABIT
For many people with Adult ADD, being late has become a life-long habit. Research has shown that effectively changing a habit takes 21 days of consistent behavior. Often, people I am helping will say that they will be on time for important appointments or projects but not for “important” activities. However, unless people adopt their new habit to all of their activities and projects, the chances of success are much lower. Thus, I encourage people with Adult ADD to treat all projects and appointments equally to change the habit of lateness.
ADHD Tip # 4 – BUILD THE DISCIPLINE MUSCLE
Time management requires a significant amount of discipline. Often, people with Adult ADD have been frustrated in so many areas of their lives that they have given up on many challenges or exerting the extra discipline that many tasks require. Discipline is like a muscle and the more you use it, the stronger it develops. I encourage people with Adult ADD to practice discipline in multiple areas of their lives whether it is exercising five more minutes than usual, deciding not to drink that extra cup of coffee, or avoiding the internet and email for three consecutive hours. I have seen people with ADD realize a tremendous amount of success improving their discipline in several areas, including time management.
ADHD Tip # 5 – HAVE A SCHEDULE
People with Adult ADD often pack their schedules without allotting time for travel or having a buffer zone. They often don’t have a schedule at all and just improvise. Thus, I encourage people with Adult ADD to use a schedule each and every day of the week. The schedule should consistently include all meetings, projects and tasks as well as blocking out times when projects should be started or extra time to allow for travel. This often helps people with Adult ADD manage their time by improving planning and strategizing.
Please feel free to share these tips with your clients or patients with Adult ADD. Teaching people with Adult ADD time management strategies can make a significant impact on their overall functioning and quality of life.
Bibliography:
Barkley, R., Kevin Murphy. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A Clinical Workbook. Guilford Press. 2006.
DeLonzor, Donna. Never Be Late Again. A Clinical Workbook. Post Madison Publishing. 2003.
Young, S., Jessica Braham. ADHD in Adults. John Wiley and Sons Ltd. West Sussex, England. 2007.
Jeff says
Great article and very actionable!
Cheryl Young says
This is an AHA for. me!! My spouse just chewed me out for the umpteenth time in our 11th yr of marriage….regarding making HIM late for ‘everything! I was very upset because it frustrates me too! I’ve done this ALL MY LIFE! Decided to Google “Why am I always chronically late for EVERYTHING” AND CAME ACROSS YOUR ARTICLE. THANK YOU VEVERY MUCH.
Scott Shapiro, MD says
Thank you so much for sharing your story and reading this article. I am so glad that you found it helpful! Dr. Shapiro
Cody Hancuff says
Scott, I love this! More than I can possibly say, this has been an area of weakness, concern, struggle , and challenge for me. It came to a head at work recently, after all these years. I am more determined than ever to make these changes and develop the habit. We’ve got the potential and I know with these and other tools, and God’s help, we with ADHD/ADD can learn, grow, improve, and thrive!
Aleicia Runels says
I am a 55 year old woman with AD/HD. I was diagnosed many years ago. I have been late for everything my entire life. It has cost me several really good jobs, relationships, marriages, and right now, is about to cost me my college education. Because I can’t get to class on time. It is terribly embarrassing and creates loads of anxiety in me before I ever get to where I am going. Thank you for your article. I am going to try the tips you have given to see if they will help. Pray for me!
Scott Shapiro, MD says
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your challenges. ADHD is very challenging and as you described, the challenges with time management can cause significant difficulties. Thank you again for leaving your comments. I hope the tips and strategies help you on your journey and I wish you the best of luck. Also, I would like everyone to remember, that you don’t have to work on these challenges alone. It can often be helpful to speak to health care providers and other supportive people in your life to incorporate the tips. Over my career, I have noticed that people who collaborate with a therapist, coach, supportive friend or family member, and their doctors often increase the chances for success.
Scott Shapiro, MD says
I greatly appreciate your comments. People with ADHD or other challenges do have so much potential. With the right support and patience, I have seen people make significant growth and improvements. I am going to reiterate what I wrote in a previous response.
ADHD is very challenging and as you described, the challenges with time management can cause significant difficulties. Thank you again for leaving your comments. I hope the tips and strategies help you on your journey and I wish you the best of luck. Also, I would like everyone to remember, that you don’t have to work on these challenges alone. It can often be helpful to speak to health care providers and other supportive people in your life to incorporate the tips. Over my career, I have noticed that people who collaborate with a therapist, coach, supportive friend or family member, and their doctors often increase the chances for success.
Good luck on your journey to success and thriving.